Concept Battle

Having a Concept Battle with another guy.
Winners of Concept Battles shall be self-determined.

 

A duck that thinks it’s an ugly swan, but is in fact a really hot duck

a gay, self hating nazi jewish black woman who takes lots and lots of self help courses

a pregnant lady traveling at the speed of light, so that both time and her cervix are dilated…

an army of tardigrades trying to shove an 78 RPM of Wooly Booly into a CD player

battered red bats bred for red bat bread, beaten to a pulp by well-bred brats bearing big red bats

a charmed quark giving a wedgie to a tau neutrino

Two robots slowly replacing each other’s parts with their own

a hand with knuckles on both sides, palmless

a ghost of a neanderthal man, haunting the Cro-Magnon, angry about going extinct

A flute with no holes that makes noise through osmosis…

a rocking chair made out of watermelons

the tension on a dam about to burst as felt by a small child holding its palm against the smooth cement base

an idea so boring that the idea yawns when contemplating itself

cellophane tape made of dried air

the sad truth behind Little Orphan Annie’s cold, dead, empty eyes…

a pupusa filled with space debris!

an executive desk toy made from the balls of warriors who have looked at medusa and turned to stone…

Category: random crap 3 comments »

3 Responses to “Concept Battle”

  1. Noonz

    discovering pure genius of wit and intellect does exist moments after swallowing overdose due to despair at the lack of same on this pathetic and ridiculous planet

    your blog is fucking awesome, i haven’t laughed so hard since i can remember
    not sure i can compete with you…eeek!!!!

  2. Noonz

    (.com obviously : cat jumping on keyboard as i pressed send)
    …now “concept battle” is all i can think about…hope it’s ok to just join in??

    momentarily forgetting that you cannot click ‘undo’ in real life after doing something ridiculous like smashing a plate/murdering someone in blind rage at their stupidity

  3. Noonz

    i think i have discovered my raison d’etre!…and so have decided to presume that you’re posting of my previous comments indicates tacit consent for now…
    forgive me any plagarism/echoing of any of your concepts : my memory is sieve-like and my mind is a trickster!

    the opposite of a mind-fuck : something that completely deadens your mind with its tediousness

    a nymphomaniac xenophobe…stranded in a foreign land

    a parallel universe where the ratio between hysteria and rationality is reversed

    having ceased to exist, god despondantly wondered whether he had allowed his experiment – the evolution of man – to run for a few too many decades

    a special tool which enables quadriplegics to pick their own noses

    spaghetti which is sold in a curved format so that you don’t have to mess about getting it into the pan

    a wife-beating masochist, who wishes she’d at least try to hit him back sometimes

    a rare type of cheese, which can smell you

    the illusion of democracy caught a glimpse of itself and promptly vanished

    a planet where there is nothing at all but little cakes in the shape of italy

    time stood still but bombastic platitude skipped on in glee

    orwell’s ghost, continually orgasming in self-satisfaction as he surveys this nightmare

    a frigid cricket who was sexually abused as a child and just wishes all the others would shut the hell up so he can get some sleep

    a triangle plotting to steal one side from another triangle so that it can become a square

    dawkin’s spaghetti monster, floating in space, ponders its own complexity and thinks…someone must have created me

    a dark horse who just wishes everyone wasn’t so fucking surprised all the time

    a reality show which is just people talking about other reality shows, created to assist those who are contemplating suicide but can’t quite find the strength

    the hypocratic oath

    trying to come up with searches which nobody has ever googled before

    a somewhat superficial lake who’s always worrying it might be thought shallow and so affects a very solemn demeanour

    wanting to take over the world…but just can’t be bothered

    a telepathic zebra, trying to hide in a bowl of custard, because he knows the terrible truth

    aspiring to the moral virtue of jean-luc picard

    pretending not to notice someone else’s astonishingly glaring and dreadful character traits

    the lord is my shepherd : baaa baaa baaa baaa

    i can’t believe it’s not made with real butterflies

    face-palm x a million


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