Archive for May 2013


Concepts

May 4th, 2013 — 8:06pm

Having a Concept Battle with another guy.
Winners of Concept Battles shall be self-determined

 

A violent aging grandfather thinking back fondly to the days when he would beat his children senseless

 

girlscouts kneeling before the holy mother, accepting communion with a placenta-based girlscout cookie…

 

The innuit word for the realization that if you had made every life choice completely at random you would have ended up in better circumstances…

 

A midget Emergency Rescue Technician who revives someone suffering from a heart attack by jumping up and down on their chest…

 

A confirmation of another’s intelligence denoted by morse code farting “Brilliant”

 

A cloth woven from quantum mechanical threads whose waveforms are intermingled in such a manner that simply by taking off your clothing, your partner’s clothing is simultaneously removed…

 

Animals made of gas that live in the solid cores of giant planets, and when they die they turn into liquid.

 

A thanksgiving turkey that is bred to grow back it’s thighs after removing them and its tiny wheelchair…

 

The vacant stare in a baby’s eyes that signals it is giving up on life…

 

an online map of our galaxy showing the precise location of 1000000 stars plus or minus 1000000

 

living underwear that you purchase for your teenaged daughters that constricts automatically around her waist whenever young males approach…

 

a parthinogenic toothpick

 

A digital creature that reproduces by duplicating itself from the inside out, and then copying and pasting somewhere else

 

a sand and witch sandwich

 

ghosts who live on in the distributed memories of those who knew them, but only when they are being remembered…

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Concepts

May 1st, 2013 — 8:03pm

Having a Concept Battle with another guy.
Winners of Concept Battles shall be self-determined

 

 

a corporate sponsored coral reef

 

A superintelligent star, realizing that the fact that it is so big is both what makes it intelligent and what will insure that it will die in a supernova…

 

an overweight leaf-shaped bug caught in a bear trap

 

the soft hum of the incinerators that the Nazi commander wakes to every morning…

 

tiny alien probes that are the size of bacteria, becoming lost in the human body as they search for intelligent life on earth…

 

a trollop in a fistfight with a coquette as to who’s more lascivious

 

The first invention of the word murder as opposed to kill…

 

a topological discussion of non euclidean geometrical structures that ends in a knife fight

 

the mythology of a people who are deathly afraid of butterflies

 

The palindrome of remembering in reverse order all the things you did the night before while drunk.

 

a pinecone with dyscalculia whose whorls fail to obey the fibonacci sequence

 

A sunflower with attention deficit disorder that keeps getting distracted by shiny objects and turning away from the sun.

 

star-crossed lovers from a race of people who salivated vinegar and a race that ejaculates baking soda

 

A breath freshener that works by altering other people’s brain chemistry so that they appreciate the smell of filth

 

a race of beings whose bodies are nothing more than alimentary canals

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