Archive for June 2010


You just keep me hangin’ on…

June 18th, 2010 — 1:44am

I have to say it feels more like an ongoing therapy session than a freelance job. The Austrian Docs are so obsessively micro-managing that they have me come in once a week, every week, hand over some minor changes to the new flash pieces I’m working on, and then administer one of the second-level ‘therapeutic’ tests that they’re working on for the soldiers with P.T.S.D.

It is soothing –like spending time at yoga without the heavy stretching–¬† but I would like to finish this job and get paid eventually. Despite it all, I do have to respect the integrity of their vision. These people are legitimate doctors doing valuable work.

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Concept Battle

June 8th, 2010 — 1:41am

Having a Concept Battle with another guy.
Winners of Concept Battles shall be self-determined.

The first superintelligent prime number.

The clicking taps and scrapes of a jerusalem cricket with an aluminum cast on one of its legs scuttling around the interior of a sousaphone chasing after the reflected light emanating from a strand of mardi gras beads stuck in a nearby tree.

A phlegm-based system of currency.

The number, expressed in binary code, of the three dimensional coordinates, of a four dimensional tesseract.

The evil that pretends to be justice, feeling satisfied.

A pygmy steamroller.

Tinsel twisting in the breeze, hanging from a christmas tree rotting on the curb of the meanest man in Las Vegas.

A suburban housewife in curlers wearing a dirty pink nightgown suspended on a rope over a bunsen burner.

A nobel prize winning pasta recipe and a pulitzer prize winning manicure.

The rope bridge to hope’s last outpost, swaying in the mist….

The mincemeat pie of progress and its effect on the common man.

The clicking of tiny mandibles as beetles make ready to eat the body of one of their own.

The sympathy that devils have for angels who have fallen…

A sponge that will only soak up things that were spilled intentionally.

A new lease on life with an adjustable rate mortgage attached.

An artichoke with no heart.

A three ring circus binder.

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Concept Battle

June 3rd, 2010 — 1:37am

Having a Concept Battle with another guy.
Winners of Concept Battles shall be self-determined.

An apology for violent overtures made in the past by one tribe offered to a neighboring tribe, encrypted in code so they can do a sneak attack while the other tribe is decrypting it.

A shoebox full of dog crap where her heart was supposed to be.

The first time a blind man in Venice touched a venetian blind.

The penumbra of the shadow of a doubt.

A cow in a customized fetish latex bondage outfit standing in a contact lens case.

Fish watching the sunset through the edge of the ocean.

Two hermaphrodites engaged in four acts of simultaneous oral sex.

A cup that emits interjections and a matching saucer that emits conjunctions.

Your interpretation of your wife’s smile in response to something you just said that you think she thougt was clever which she actually thought was moronic, hence the smile.

Keebler elves receiving job performance reviews based on the sales of their latest cookies…

A pizza designed for a non-euclidean space.

The change in the facial expression of the person hired to edit Hitchcock’s Rope when they learned there would only be four cuts, and the subsequent change upon realizing they would have little input on when these cuts occur.

The first genetically reconstituted neandertal man, in his first television commercial.

A flying saucer with a busted turn signal and illegally tinted windows.

Bread made from the seeds of its own destruction.

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